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the renegade bride

“the wild, wacky adventures of a bridal industry insider +newlywed + new homeowner and (in practice)renovation-maven. Whee!”

March 31, 2010 Budget Week: The Food

So, remember the whole thing about mouths to feed? Yeah, I have them. While our guests may not be fancy, we are a bit on the fancy side. Our favorite food: french fusion/contemporary American gourmet food. Key to our heart: TOP CHEF. We love the Food Network and all it stands for. I believe that we could be classified as “foodies,” and we proudly admit that we like fresh, delicious, beautiful food. I also happen to like Taco Bell, but whatevs, we all have our weaknesses. Taco Bell is not going to cater our wedding, but imagine, if you will, that Taco Bell was catering a wedding. Righteous, right? I mean, that might be a great idea…

Anyway, our venue has recommended vendors for catering. You are required to use these vendors, and while they are delightful, we’re a bit bummed because we can’t use the vendor we wanted to use for our catering. But that’s cool, we have moved past that — especially since in the past 24 hours we’ve had to deal with the fact that our guest list is having babies and multiplying; that like, we are waiting on  photographers to write us back (I’m the epitome of the impatient bride), and our first choice church is already booked. Dudes, it’s over a year (438 days, but who’s counting)  in advance and everything is getting snatched up all crazy like. Sigh. Cry. Fit being thrown right here, in the privacy of my own couch, because I’m a baby.

Well, since TB is not an option and we’re into the fancy food, looks like we’re going to be opting for a fancy caterer. We kind of know who that would be, but we are still working through the reality of our PP guest price. We aren’t doing a sit down/plated & served meal (that, unfortunately, is way out of the budget), but we would like to do action stations and a lovely meal for guests that isn’t generic and boring. Ah, imagine what you could do with $20 pp and have Taco Bell cater…

When i think of an awesome reception, I think of great drinks, good fun, and good food. I think of cute little innovative cocktail munchies and delicious gastro-pleasant entrees. But now I’m worried about being able to have a wonderful meal on a very fixed budget. Arg. Maybe we will end up having crackers with spray on cheese as our appetizers, and then just a whole lot of mashed potatoes. Potatoes are cheap. We could make them fancy by having an assortment of potato accouterments, including but not limited to: artificial bacon bits, dried scallions, and more spray on cheese. Delicious! I can tell that you, dear reader, is already so excited about attending this wedding. If you are a potential guest, then I apologize. We will not have spray cheese and assorted mashed potatoes. Maybe. 😀

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March 29, 2010 Budget Week: The bar

Ok, so we are working on our budget this week. Reason why: we have to start booking more things. We just got the tragic news that the photog we were really, really wanting is not available. We have a top three that are like, our favorites ever, but Mr. H was at the very tip top of the list. Now, we are looking at the other awesome people on our list, and they are all awesome, I’ll let you know what we decide. It’s very exciting.

Anyway, so all this week I’m going to talk about the budget. The budget is a suck part of planning any event. I will share with you the insights from other people that we get as we share our plans with them (we were strongly encourage to elope already) and how people don’t get that we take weddings kinda, well, seriously. It’s our biz, we love what we do, and we love a good wedding. Thus, we want to have a nice day. One that is lovely and personal and cool.  We also have a bazillion guests.FFI has a sprawling (and lovely) family that we love very much but that are expensive. They are, as the  charmingly fitting colloquialism goes,  “mouths to feed.”

Last night our first bone of contention arrived on the budgetary table: the bar. Specifically: cash versus limited or full bar. I’ll not leave things up in the air: I’m a fan of offering guests a bar, and that in offering it, I mean we pay for it. We want for our  guests to have fun and enjoy our infused cocktails and whatnot, right?  I assumed FFI was with me on this, but apparently– not as much. He thinks that alcohol is expensive (it is) and that we can cut down on reception costs by not having an open bar. I am not even sure if he’s keen on the limited bar– somehow we got the idea that we could offer cocktails during the cocktail hour and then cut everyone off and make them pay for drinks (I think that’s rude) or that we can have beer & wine and then make people buy their own alcohol (I think that is rude too).  Notice, here, that I am saying RUDE, not COST EFFECTIVE. I understand saving money, but many of our guests are OOT and I think it’s rude to say “friends and family, thanks for spending your hard earned post-recession dollars on coming to our little celebration of love, now please shell out some money for a vodka tonic.”

Exasperated, I joked that we should include alcohol choices on the RSVP. Like, have a section that offers food choices and the other side says “beer & wine” or “liquor drinks” or “both” or “none” and then have people let us know. He thought this was great. Better still, he suggested that we tell people it’s a $20 cover for their alcohol drinks, so come prepared with their cash at the door.

I was less than amused.

I know this is an oft-debated topic for brides– so, I’m asking both as a bride & as a guest– what are your thoughts on alcohol at weddings, cash bars, etc etc. Would you rather have a free but limited variety of cocktails, or have to pay for whatever you like, or think that a nice bride and groom will provide you with your choice of cocktail-y choices,  no charge. I eagerly await your responses.

More budgety- stuff tomorrow. Feel free to share your biggest money gripe in the comments.

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March 26, 2010 Themed Weddings: take 2

Ok. So, themed weddings (hello, again!)

The theme i’m most enamored with is 1940s glam. I have fun ideas about using WWII propaganda, thematic music, breaking into dance lessons midway– having the groomsmen dress like flyboys and the girls in my party be all Andrews Sisters glam.

I’ve read about bride’s that went all out with this theme and got married on a battle cruiser, which I think is totally kick ass and admirable, but I will not be so bold and adventurous. I do think I want to encourage guests to play dress up (because come on, dress up is fun), but I don’t want to pretend its the 1940s with rationing and what not. I want to have all the glam without the unfortunate conditions of WWII conditions. So we’ll not be rationing, but it might be fun to do something with war ration stamps or something… still brainstorming on that particular idea…

I like the look of 1940s design:

Which I think would be fun to use in Save the dates, invites, and table number decor– I just like the look of them, and the use of color and proportion. What do you think– is 1940s fun or overdone?

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March 25, 2010 engagement dreams

I have lots of dreams about getting engaged.

Let me back up: I’m a very vivid dreamer. I often get so sucked into dreams that I think they are real, and upon time to awaken I’ll actually go back to sleep to continue on with the dream. My dreams are so realistic that occassionally, I think that what I dreampt actually happened (like the time I woke up angry at FFI because in my dream he had an affair). I experience poignant emotions and feel like the dreams are an extension of my waking self. This is sometimes cool, sometimes not cool. Depends on the dream.

I also have dreams that are a lot like deja vu: I dream things, they seem real, then a few weeks, months, years later the dream comes true. Or a piece of a dream. For instance, I dreampt about having FFI tell me on a staircase that he thought I was hilarious.  I dreampt it in 2004, and I even blogged about it on an old blog– saying I felt I dreamed of the guy I was destined to fall in love with and spend the rest of my life with. I’d not even met FFI yet– and in 2006, the dream came true. Same stairs. Same words. Cool, right?

Well, my prolific dreams have often segwayed into engagement dreams. In these dreams, I have fantastical visions of crazy ways that FFI and I get engaged. I’ve yet to dream of a band and elephants, but that could happen.  The strangest dream of late was getting engaged on a subway. We don’t even have  a subway in our fair city,  and I think maybe the subway went underwater in my dream. But anyway. Last night I dreampt the aftermath of our engagement, which was all kind of fuzzy but it involved wine and was very romantic. I kept staring at my finger, and the weird thing is I don’t even remember what the ring looked like in my dream. I do, however, remember crying a lot and being very emotional. I woke up at 5 am in that dream-cry state and had to face the strange coming-back-to reality moment when you realize that it was just a dream. Great dreams are just as hard to put down as a nightmare sometimes. I tried to go back to dreaming it but instead dreamed I got stuck on a cruise ship with that virus that makes you vomit a lot.

Anyway, those are my dreams.  Colorful, no?

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March 24, 2010 Eyecandy: Pearls are Sexy

I’ve just now finally getting over being sick, and with my recovery process i’ve also come to the understanding that pearls are sexy. It’s the middle of the week, so how about a little pearl eyecandy?

For a mere 8k, you can have this lovely Tahitian Black Sea Pearl Necklace in AAA quality– drool:

Or how about a more creamy variety– delicious neckcandy of golden tahitian pearls!:

An always classic look in white…

While pearls are kind of a bridal classic, I love the look of big, thick pearls. They are just amazingly lovely. Deliciouso!

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March 18, 2010 Status: Woohoo!

I am sick. It’s less than scintillating news so I’ll spare you the sad details, just that involves me feeling puny, a fever, and hot soup in my near future.

Yesterday was St. Patricks, and maybe a bit of the luck of the Irish wore off on me because FFI asked me if he could “see” my favorite blue ring. When I asked why, he said he wanted to know what my ring size was! Insert holy choirs of angels singing in heaven, as I did have that heart-fluttering omg moment where I wanted to squee around and act like a little girl. But i played it really cool (as I am) and tried to act like I was totally oblivious as to why he’d want this information. I don’t want any details, really, I prefer to be totally in the dark about it. Like, seriously.

So, if you ever find yourself in the same predicament, I suggest you check out Blue Nile’s handy-dandy ring sizer. I thought I was a size 7.5 but apparently I am not. Apparently, my extra large fingers hit around an 8.5 per the cut and paste accurate ring measuring paper. 8.5 seems super hefty and further conveys why I ought to get on the weight loss train but unfortunately I find cookies and beer way too awesome to get my act together. With this ring measuring thing looming ahead of me,  I ought to focus on losing a few pounds, but instead I’m sure i’ll drop a few dozen while I’m sick…right.

To adequately convey my happiness I  thought it apropos to google “happiest girl in the world” and check out images, and I found this one, which was kind of the best? Maybe?

This one just kind of makes me sad:

But this one, well, this one made me want to smile all day long, even with a fever & chills:

And for the follow up on the ring size, I don’t trust that paper that tells me my finger is super fat. I am going to verify my hefty finger condition at the local jeweler. I’ll wait til I’m better, promise.

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March 17, 2010 Letterpress is amazingly wonderful

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! Oddly enough, St. Patricks is one of my favorite holidays. It ranks up there with Christmas and halloween.  This is partially due to great memories of being a kid and taken to a bar to order green sprite, with mom-drawn shamrock “tatoos” on my cheeks. We really made an event out of it, getting all dressed up in green and dripping with green jewlery; my mom would even doll up my sis and I in green glittery eyeshadow. It made you feel special, and green sprite tasted phenomenally more good than any other day.

Anyway, this post is not about st.patrick’s day, but is instead about the beauty and power of letterpress. I have a really strong love for the stuff, and as a result am pretty sure it’s going to blow my wedding invitation budget. One website I like to go and drool a lot at is Bella Figura:

These are amazingly killer awesome:

And i love the top of these…

This one would look awesome with yellow flowers, no?

I love the detail & flourish in this one:

Yummy, right? What I like about Bella Figura is that they do custom work, are eco-friendly, do three rounds of proofs, and they are so freaking talented. Downfall: letterpress is expensive, yo.  When I got done pricing some pieces + menus + envelopes I’d already crested the 3000 mark. Which, despite my true, true love for Letterpress, I cannot afford such prices. And that makes me sad. So, I’m going to go cry, then drink some green beer and cheer up, then cry some more once I remember how expensive these little darlings are. Oh well, right?

Edited to add: Tabs told me that Midtown Printing has letterpress (I had no idea of this and am  currently kicking myself violently) and that she got her invites printed there — I am 1) loving Tabitha right now, 2) so excited I could dance an Irish Gig. 3) feeling that letterpress is now totally a possibility, budget be damned!

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March 15, 2010 infused cocktails? Yummy!

Before I get to a’postin, let me thank both Kris & Tabs for offers to join me in exercising and the insightful article on how drinking makes me thinner than my non drinking counterparts, respectively. And also let me apologize for missing a blog post like half the week last week. Life got busy.

In the interim (while I was lazy not posting), I was brainstorming ideas about cool ways to personalize  things at the IW. We can all agree that I like cocktails. So does FFI. I was thinking it might be kind of neat to have an infused liquor cocktail bar at our reception, maybe just at the cocktail hour– I have not totally decided this yet, as I have time on my side with this particular issue.  That part doesn’t really matter. The part that does is the fun infused liquor part.

My imaginary BFF, Martha Stewart, had an interesting post on the Infused Liquor trend along with recipes. Thanks, Martha. I like how the bottles are visually appealing:

Here’s the flavors: 1) Chamomile Gin (eww, because FFI and I do not like Gin), this may be good with something like vodka or rum; 2) Fennel Vodka (that would make for some interesting martinis) 3) Plum-Lemon-balm brandy (yum) 4)lemongrass Peach Sake. (Ohh, Martha, only you would think of this, and how I love you so for coming up with such brilliance), 5) Red Plum Grappa (grappa gets ya crunked, or so they claimed on Dirty, Sexy, Money, Anyone else watch that show before it was cancelled? It had Nate from Six Feet Under and some other peeps. Anyway.) 6) Lemon Verbena Vodka.( That sounds light & refreshing ) 7.) Lemon-Basil Raspberry Brandy (again, yum), 8. Beet Cucumber Vodka: NO comment.

I would probably not be so adventurous in some of my applications, with selections like coconut rum, ginger vodka, and pomegranate-lime vodka. I am sure FFI will prefer his whiskey unaltered, but we may come up with something fun for that as well. Maybe as a :surprise: to ffi.

I think that the infused bottles would look gorgeous along the bartop, along with assorted mixed glassware for serving the cocktails. We could work on individualized, unique accents for each drink– from adorable personalized swizzle sticks, or even something fun like this idea I found at the hostess blog— mums attached on swizzle sticks for a bright splash of color:

This cocktail is low-country lemonade, which is delicious. It’s basically lemonade with brandy, but we could add one of our infused brandies to this cocktail…yum. And it happens to be fairly close to my colors (more on that in another future post).

Soooo… thoughts: yes on infused liquors? is it worth the time and effort, or should I just get regular old hooch and come up with a signature cocktail. as always, I welcome your comments– and who knows, if you make one, I might send you a test bottle of something I infuse….

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March 10, 2010 Shiver. Diets. Shiver.

The above “shiver” refers to that bone chilling shudder that runs through your body when you think of dieting. I am thinking of it, and I am hard core shivering over here in mad fear.

Seeing as how the wedding is a year off (yeah, I like it that my IW is totally something that is “real” in my mind, and FFI seems cool with the date so we’re moving ahead in earnest on this thing) I am making a list of important To-Dos. These include:

– Make a real budget <– ugh.
– Start coming up with all my paper design ideas <– too many to count
– make about a bazil. inspiration boards
– go on a diet

I am realistic with myself here, people. I have a hard time losing the weight. You know that P-90x thing? Still no progress. Maybe its the fear of picking up weights or, to be honest, sweating– because, ew… anyway, there’s a myriad of reasons, most of which can be traced back to LAZINESS and my affinity for SLEEPING instead of working out.

So, because I can admit that working out is going to take time to build up to, I am going to start small with a diet plan. This diet plan is going to make me evaluate all the food I currently take in. Foods like (but not limited to): peanuts, vanilla syrup in my coffee in the morning from Starbucks, sweet tea, larded goods such as fried chicken strips <– love, french fries, mexican food in general, cheese, chocolates, cookies, cakes, sugar, cupcakes, sugar again, because it should be on here twice.

I refuse to be a flat out liar and include the items that I know I’ll never exclude: wine, margaritas <- love more than chicken strips, good substitute, imperial coffee stouts, coffee in general, alcohol in general. I like the empty calories of alcohol. And I refuse to compromise on that area.

Ugh. I want to be svelte and gorgeous on my day but omg right now all I can think about is eating a fried lard chicken sandwich. God help me. I need some kind of divine intervention or there’s no way I’m going to lose any weight.

Maybe I ought to rethink that whole exercise thing.

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March 9, 2010 Themed Weddings!

Ok, so who’s with me on loving the idea of a themed wedding?! I am. Not like pirates or anything (no offense if your wedding theme was pirates). I am actually thinking of having a “period” wedding. I’ve been to oodles of weddings where midstream people are like “what do we do now” and then make a beeline to the bar to get drunk and then dance obnoxiously on the dance floor all dirty-like, before assaulting a bridesmaid or making an attempt to crowd surf over your less imbibed guests. As charming and fun as that sounds, I am not so interested in that particular scene playing out.

Personally, I love the idea of a wedding that is interactive and keeps your guests on their toes. I want my wedding to be a little bit like disneyland, where every ride and area is a new adventure. Part of me thinks elbow macaroni art and hand-turkeys would be really fun, but the theme is not playschool wedding. It’s not really even disneyland. I kind of use Disneyland like a mecca because I have never been, and in my imagination it’s like the most wonderful place on earth. Which is due largely to the fact that their marketing pieces lead you to believe that it’s really magical and wonderful and fabulous in every way. FFI has been there before and seems kind of meh about it, but me, I’m still in that place where it’s only in my mind and imagination and thus wonderful, so…

ok, tangent much?

So, I think a themed wedding can be really fun. It  can be a means to roll in decor and concept and food and festivities so that you can delight your guests and make your wedding very memorable. That’s my goal: memorable. It’s not so much about how much money we spend, or how many people come or how awesome my ML inspired dress is, it’s more about how much fun everyone had and how in love FFI are and how great everyone’s time is. I know that the theme idea could be kind of cheesy–quick, google themed wedding– scary photos!:

Pantomime theme: not really sure that this one is a wedding, but check out those dresses. Woah. I kind of like the idea of liverly for dudes, though

Starwars themed. Fun, right? Dude with the mask must be really hot. How can he even see his bride?  Who is she supposed to be? I mean, obs that Princess L. is marrying the fishman to her, but who is she? Star Wars fans, please help.

FFI would be all about a Halo Themed wedding. I would not show up, as I find Halo very violent and disturbing. He understands my feelings and will not play when I’m around. True Story.

I’m assuming the above theme is pirates.  Walk the plank, matey!

So, themed weddings? Totally lame or SIGN ME UP TO BE A GUEST AT YOUR FAB AFFAIR NOW!!!

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