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the renegade bride

the wild, wacky adventures of a bridal industry insider +newlywed + new homeowner and (in practice)renovation-maven. Whee!

Tag Archives: knowing what your engagement ring will look like

When we first started talking e-rings, FFI expressed that he was adament about getting me what *he* wanted to get me, a process where I had no feedback whatsoever. I was cool with it, because he was pretty serious and seemed to have a plan in mind.

I had been wanting to go by Shane Co for awhile because of the commercials. I like how that guy makes you feel, kind of warm and fuzzy and like its some mecca of engagement rings. Anyway. We went there kinda before we were talking seriously about rings, but after we both knew we wanted to eventually tie the knot. He brought a friend with him and I tried on a lot of different things, with several different stones. I have always been a fan of the more antique/intricate settings, things like this:

I like filigree and detail. At the same time, I like more custom/unique looking rings, but I kept telling FFI that I wanted something “simple.” That always seemed to make him laugh, since I kept trying on rings that were in the 10k range. Not. Simple.

After that little experience we put things on hold for a bit. Then, we started to play a game where he’d sent me pictures of rings and I’d tell him what I thought about them:

I responded that i liked it, but I really liked this:

I love the split shank because I have really fat fingers– and the split shank has a “slimming” effect

He sent me this one:

To which I had all positive comments– it’s gorgeous. Imagine it as an asscher. Swoon

I don’t think he is a fan of the split shank, but he did send me this one day– and I told him I thought it was “too busy”:

It just looks kind of clunky, but that’s just my opinion.

So, we have played this game on and off for the past year or so– just at random, he’ll send me a ring, which seems like teasing, but at the same time it lets me know that he’s thinking about it. And we’ve looked at so many rings that I have no idea what direction he’s going with everything, and while I like the not knowing, I’m getting antsy. I don’t want to be one of those girls that pick out their ring, because I don’t want to spoil the surprise. But, part of the surprise is surrendering to the not knowing anxiety that follows. At least if you pick out a ring together you know he’s going to be buying it that day or soon thereafter, so you can fabricate a timeline in your mind. My timeline is arbitrary and self-imposed, which means it has a strong liklihood of disappointing me.

I’ll be sure to share with you the crazy times I really thought we were getting engaged– mostly things I’d concocted in my mind where all the “signs” pointed to promising hope of engagement. I have to say that all of those times, I was more concerned with how he was going to do it and how I was going to react to the asking and not the ring. It’s almost as though the ring itself– for all of our little games, exchanges, and back and forth– doesn’t really even matter. And that’s kind of nice. Besides, I told him that he could always propose with a twist tie or a candy pop ring, and that’d be a-ok with me.

And I really do mean that, which is refreshing. I’m cool with not knowing what i”m gonna get (or if it’s edible or not). How about you? Were you/Are you the kind of girl that needs to know? And do you think that if you don’t and you don’t like the ring he gives you, that you’ll have an issue with it?


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