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the renegade bride

the wild, wacky adventures of a bridal industry insider +newlywed + new homeowner and (in practice)renovation-maven. Whee!

Tag Archives: weight loss

I can’t believe it– but in a week I lost nearly 6 lbs. 5.8 to be exact– and I feel so excited I could sing. I won’t, but…

It’s such an amazing thing to stand on the scale and feel proud at your accomplishment. I was beyond thrilled to see that I lost that much in one week. It’s great to get through the first chapter and feel successful. I’m still teetering on crazy hunger some days that makes me want to eat anything in sight (including, one day, thinking about the road and how it might taste) but I’m getting better at managing calories and expectations. Rome wasn’t built in a day, after all.

In so many ways, it’s the most exciting journey. This is the most concerted effort I’ve ever made at losing weight. Other times, I followed the program, yadda yadda, but I’d not really felt this level of enthusiasm and commitment. It’s the best feeling in the world to know that you are  full of conviction about the possibilities ahead of you.

The most transformative thing thus far is the change in the way that I look at food. It’s more about energy to fuel the engine that is my body instead of a delicious past-time. Second to that is that it takes so much work and devotion to be healthy. It’s about making sound choices. It’s funny to me that I’ve heard people say the same things over and over about being healthy, about making sound, good choices, about diet and exercise being a lifestyle choice. It’s sad that up until now, it went in and out the other ear. I made excuses for all the reasons I couldn’t, instead of saying “Well, maybe I’ll really try this. Maybe I’ll really change my life.”

It’s amazing– the prospects and possibilities ahead.

I promise that next post will be totally all about the wedding. In particular, my first completed DIY: the Save-the-Dates!!

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For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a “heavyset” person.  The only time in my life that I was below average weight was the day I was born– one month premature– and I still came out packing regular baby heft. Anyway. Over the past 18 months, I slowly but surely lost 40 lbs. That was a lot– and made me feel pretty awesome about myself– but then slowly but surely– it started to creep back on. A pound here, a pound there. I had planned to lose weight pre-wedding, as most brides do, and I thought this was the perfect time to take and turn my life, my eating habits, and my weight– around for good.

A week ago,  I started Weight Watchers. I was feeling pretty positive about it until weigh-in rolled around and I’d lost zero pounds. I was pretty bummed– and discouraged. I happened to have a doctors appointment yesterday morning, so I went in with a bit of a heavy heart. When I walked into the exam room, the doctor quickly followed and took my blood pressure–which was awesome– but then she looked into my eyes and said with all seriousness, “We need to talk about your weight.”

Fact of the matter is that yo yo-ing around on the scale isn’t healthy. Nor is gaining 15 pounds in 2 months for no reason you can define, or pinpoint, or really understand. I am 31: carrying around a little extra here and there is going to impact my long term health, and listening to her strike the fear of God in me (diabetes, worsening arthritis, difficulties conceiving when that time comes, heart disease, etc etc) I found myself nodding and wanting to take notes.

My doctor gave me a lot of suggestions and offered help in her office– weekly meetings, consults with a nutritionist– doctor approve and supported weight loss– and I left with a lot to ponder. On my way back to the house, I started a kind of inner retrospective of all that I’d already gone through in life over my weight: from feeling fat at 10 to being called it in school, the bullies on the playground that make it a point to make you feel crappy and different if you are. I remember high school, and how after a few days of fasting in July I’d made a concerted effort to shave some 50 lbs off my body, ending up at a svelt 135, a weight accomplished by eating less than 1000 calories a day and less than 20 grams of fat. I remember the day that diet ended– over a piece of extra crispy fried chicken– and how that defeat had started another rollercoaster ride: up, up, up to 200+, down, down, down to 175 at the lowest.

I’m happy in my own skin. This isn’t about feeling fat, or unattractive. I feel beautiful. But I don’t feel healthy– and I have too much to live for to not be at my healthiest, to not have a body that supports a healthy heart, strong body, and a great constitution. I don’t want to have to worry about diabetes, about heart disease, about becoming obese. I realize that as our bodies age, it becomes easier to gain and harder to lose– and I feel like I’ve been afforded the opportunity to change things around.

Like so much of my life this year, I’ve been given unexpected opportunities that have completely transformed my life. Sometimes, it only takes a second of insight to alter the way you look at something completely. I’m excited about changing my health– for losing weight not because I want to be “thin” but because I want to be healthy. I am ready to stop the yo-yo rollercoaster ride of starve, starve, starve then eat, eat, eat, (and then eat some more).

It’s a scary journey, but it’s time.

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