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the renegade bride

the wild, wacky adventures of a bridal industry insider +newlywed + new homeowner and (in practice)renovation-maven. Whee!

Tag Archives: engagement rings

When we first started talking e-rings, FFI expressed that he was adament about getting me what *he* wanted to get me, a process where I had no feedback whatsoever. I was cool with it, because he was pretty serious and seemed to have a plan in mind.

I had been wanting to go by Shane Co for awhile because of the commercials. I like how that guy makes you feel, kind of warm and fuzzy and like its some mecca of engagement rings. Anyway. We went there kinda before we were talking seriously about rings, but after we both knew we wanted to eventually tie the knot. He brought a friend with him and I tried on a lot of different things, with several different stones. I have always been a fan of the more antique/intricate settings, things like this:

I like filigree and detail. At the same time, I like more custom/unique looking rings, but I kept telling FFI that I wanted something “simple.” That always seemed to make him laugh, since I kept trying on rings that were in the 10k range. Not. Simple.

After that little experience we put things on hold for a bit. Then, we started to play a game where he’d sent me pictures of rings and I’d tell him what I thought about them:

I responded that i liked it, but I really liked this:

I love the split shank because I have really fat fingers– and the split shank has a “slimming” effect

He sent me this one:

To which I had all positive comments– it’s gorgeous. Imagine it as an asscher. Swoon

I don’t think he is a fan of the split shank, but he did send me this one day– and I told him I thought it was “too busy”:

It just looks kind of clunky, but that’s just my opinion.

So, we have played this game on and off for the past year or so– just at random, he’ll send me a ring, which seems like teasing, but at the same time it lets me know that he’s thinking about it. And we’ve looked at so many rings that I have no idea what direction he’s going with everything, and while I like the not knowing, I’m getting antsy. I don’t want to be one of those girls that pick out their ring, because I don’t want to spoil the surprise. But, part of the surprise is surrendering to the not knowing anxiety that follows. At least if you pick out a ring together you know he’s going to be buying it that day or soon thereafter, so you can fabricate a timeline in your mind. My timeline is arbitrary and self-imposed, which means it has a strong liklihood of disappointing me.

I’ll be sure to share with you the crazy times I really thought we were getting engaged– mostly things I’d concocted in my mind where all the “signs” pointed to promising hope of engagement. I have to say that all of those times, I was more concerned with how he was going to do it and how I was going to react to the asking and not the ring. It’s almost as though the ring itself– for all of our little games, exchanges, and back and forth– doesn’t really even matter. And that’s kind of nice. Besides, I told him that he could always propose with a twist tie or a candy pop ring, and that’d be a-ok with me.

And I really do mean that, which is refreshing. I’m cool with not knowing what i”m gonna get (or if it’s edible or not). How about you? Were you/Are you the kind of girl that needs to know? And do you think that if you don’t and you don’t like the ring he gives you, that you’ll have an issue with it?


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To carry on from yesterday’s post prefacing my e-ring desires, I will now delve into the particulars.  As for cut, I really want an asscher cut stone.  The unique square shape really intrigues me, it’s so elegant while being so markedly different. ❤

Lovely, right? Well, I became a big fan of frequenting a website & forum called Pricescope ; the ultimate resource for eye candy, in particular with colored stones and unique e-rings in their forums ; I like to go to the “Rocky Talky” department, but I diagress. This site is awesome to learn all about gems, gemstone cutting, and the best independent designers in the land. Here, I learned all about the asscher. For the indepth version, visit this page— for my cliff notes, read on:

Asschers are considered a fancy shape cut, but in essence it’s a square emerald cut. The main issue with an asscher is that it’s easier to see flaws or inclusions in any step-cut stone, they look smaller in comparason to round stones (i.e a round brilliant carat looks larger than an asscher carat) and in order for the cut to look right, there’s a certain proportion that has to be followed with the table percentage and depth percentage.  The table is kind of the most important part of your stone’s cut– it’s the flat surface you look down at; if the table is too small, the stone will lack brilliance (sparkle). Since the asscher is a more difficult cut to achieve the proper table ratio for ideal brilliance, it’s often a bit more expensive when the stone is perfect.

From Pricescope, Lovey’s diamond asscher ring:

Now the above pertained primarily to diamonds.  When we started talking about e-rings, shapes, sizes, colors, I let FFI know I was really into a) sapphires, b) asschers, and c) the color yellow. We were having this conversation on 09/29/08 (forever ago, duly noted ladies) and no, I don’t have an amazing memory, I have gmail chat transcripts. Evidence. He said, hey, check this stone out from Jeff White, WhitesGems:

To which I about died. It looks like a perfect little yellow sunshine. It’s awesome. It’s made from a local gemcutter  (yay) and then we found out that it had already been sold.  Already sold. I was upset, but I said “hey, we’ll find another one. Right?”

Well, after some research I discovered that sapphires are very difficult stones to cut into the asscher shape because of their table. Go ahead, do a google search for “sapphire + asscher” and see what you don’t come up with: sapphires cut in asscher shape.  I found a few blues, but blues aren’t my thing. You know when you have those kind of “once in a lifetime” moments where you wish you’d gotten something but you hadn’t and now you’re going to mope about it forever because everything is going to be compared to it? FFI, if you are reading this, know that i’m not totally serious– you know I’ll love anything you get me, as long as it’s yellow and a sapphire. 🙂

So, I let the asscher go. It’s like looking around the corner at Walmart and hoping to see a unicorn. I started to consider other shapes, like Cushion cuts. In the meantime, I continued to lust after my sapphire ring with the perfect asscher cut stone. In that process, I stumbled upon the fine, fine work of Mr. Leon Mege, an independent designer in NYC.  I found this ring, ignore the mad number of stars in making it, I have expensive tastes and I know it, I’m working through it!

Sooo pretty, right? I created my own version with a yellow sapphire in my favorite friend, Photoshop:

Disclaimer: Leon Mege did not put in the yellow sapphire image, I did, so all errors are mine and my sole responsibility 🙂

Despite my creativity, we’ve yet to see or hear of another yellow asscher sapphire, or a yellow cushion cut sapphire in that same shade of brilliant yellow. I try not to be too depressed about it, because I know I’ll love whatever FFI gets me all the more, because he is all about getting me the ring he thinks I’ll love, and I know that he will do an amazing job. I can’t wait to see what I do end up wearing on that lonely finger. Until then, I haunt the interwebs, in search of my new dream ring until my dreams come true 😀

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