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the renegade bride

the wild, wacky adventures of a bridal industry insider +newlywed + new homeowner and (in practice)renovation-maven. Whee!

Tag Archives: paying for drinks

Ok, so we are working on our budget this week. Reason why: we have to start booking more things. We just got the tragic news that the photog we were really, really wanting is not available. We have a top three that are like, our favorites ever, but Mr. H was at the very tip top of the list. Now, we are looking at the other awesome people on our list, and they are all awesome, I’ll let you know what we decide. It’s very exciting.

Anyway, so all this week I’m going to talk about the budget. The budget is a suck part of planning any event. I will share with you the insights from other people that we get as we share our plans with them (we were strongly encourage to elope already) and how people don’t get that we take weddings kinda, well, seriously. It’s our biz, we love what we do, and we love a good wedding. Thus, we want to have a nice day. One that is lovely and personal and cool.  We also have a bazillion guests.FFI has a sprawling (and lovely) family that we love very much but that are expensive. They are, as the  charmingly fitting colloquialism goes,  “mouths to feed.”

Last night our first bone of contention arrived on the budgetary table: the bar. Specifically: cash versus limited or full bar. I’ll not leave things up in the air: I’m a fan of offering guests a bar, and that in offering it, I mean we pay for it. We want for our  guests to have fun and enjoy our infused cocktails and whatnot, right?  I assumed FFI was with me on this, but apparently– not as much. He thinks that alcohol is expensive (it is) and that we can cut down on reception costs by not having an open bar. I am not even sure if he’s keen on the limited bar– somehow we got the idea that we could offer cocktails during the cocktail hour and then cut everyone off and make them pay for drinks (I think that’s rude) or that we can have beer & wine and then make people buy their own alcohol (I think that is rude too).  Notice, here, that I am saying RUDE, not COST EFFECTIVE. I understand saving money, but many of our guests are OOT and I think it’s rude to say “friends and family, thanks for spending your hard earned post-recession dollars on coming to our little celebration of love, now please shell out some money for a vodka tonic.”

Exasperated, I joked that we should include alcohol choices on the RSVP. Like, have a section that offers food choices and the other side says “beer & wine” or “liquor drinks” or “both” or “none” and then have people let us know. He thought this was great. Better still, he suggested that we tell people it’s a $20 cover for their alcohol drinks, so come prepared with their cash at the door.

I was less than amused.

I know this is an oft-debated topic for brides– so, I’m asking both as a bride & as a guest– what are your thoughts on alcohol at weddings, cash bars, etc etc. Would you rather have a free but limited variety of cocktails, or have to pay for whatever you like, or think that a nice bride and groom will provide you with your choice of cocktail-y choices,  no charge. I eagerly await your responses.

More budgety- stuff tomorrow. Feel free to share your biggest money gripe in the comments.


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