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the renegade bride

the wild, wacky adventures of a bridal industry insider +newlywed + new homeowner and (in practice)renovation-maven. Whee!

Tag Archives: not engaged yet

So last night I had some friends over and made dinner. With dinner, I had some awesome wine, and once I finished my first glass I started to feel all chatty– a characteristic I have when not influenced by wine, but amplified after one glass. I shared with my amigos that I’d started this blog.  The couple has been dating less time than me and my amore (I have yet to come up with some cute and catchy anon-name for my guy, but I’m sure I’ll come up with something darling, just you wait, right now let’s just call him FFI– future fiance), but all in all I felt they seemed to think my little renegade blog was pretty cool, or at least a novel idea. The chick in the relationship waited until my guy went out to flip something on the grill to ask the requisite “when do you think it’s going to happen!” and I told her that I thought it was soon, but then again, I’m super optimistic and anticipate engagement at every. single. possible. turn.

She said she’d chat more about it later with me, but later on in the evening she shared how they’d pretty much laid the foundation for their future nuptuals, down to budget and proposed location. A month or so into their dating she’d told me what kind of ring she wanted, so I felt like I’m not alone. If you know it’s a meant to be kind of thing, you just know. It’s like those romantic movies where the title characters fall in love and tell their friends “you just know!” or “when you know, you know,” and seriously, while it’s a cliche, cliches are cliches because they are true. Facts. It’s honest to God truthiness.

Anyway, her wedding sounds pretty nice. We swapped some details as our intended future husbands kind of looked over our heads in confusion. I can tell my BF really loves me because he supports my every crazy whim. After they left, we talked about their imaginary wedding and our imaginary wedding and it was nice. There’s something about weddings that half imaginary that is totally un-stressful and pleasant. We might be able to go through the whole process with everything in our heads until it lands on our calendar date, and start a new fad because of the ease in our wedding-planning execution. It could happen.



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Ok, let me preface this post by saying that I am not delusional enough to think that if you pick some particular *day* to get married then that means that you are the only bride getting married on, say, June 11,2011. I chose that date for sentimental reasons, which follow:

1. It’s our actual anniversary, so we don’t have to worry about that sticky situation of the date-versary vs. the wedding anniversary issue;

2. June is a nice time for weddings, and prime time for maximimum value of indoor & outdoor capable wedding spots:

3. it gave me the 18 months to plan (which i need, see post #1)

Ok, so that being said, I chose this date as the ideal, perfect date for our going-to-happen-regardless-of-engagement-ring having wedding. I started to plan out venues. I had these in my head for a long time, and I chose them for their location, suitability to my particular needs, and cool factor. I want to have a cool wedding, as I am sure you can tell. I’m obviously very cool. I was content feeling like these awesome venues would not be snatched up in the 18 months prior to my June 11 wedding, but then I heard about this chick that was not only planning her day on the same day (which was understandable) but that she kind of was looking at some of my venues (which was tragic).

You may be wondering how I know this– I mentioned that I’m in the wedding industry, so news travels fast. Especially when you’re close friends with wedding planners and other professionals. One of these professionals I kinda let into my little circle of information, i.e. my imaginary planning land in my head– and she told me about this cute little bride that was a date twin and a possible venue snatcher, and I started to freak out. Like, actual panic attack here people– I started to imagine what was going to happen if I had to come up with another venue entirely for my perfect retro-classic reception (more on that later). I needed that venue, like a starving person needs food. Or, like a wedding-aholic needs an engagement ring.

In my snappage, I started to look for this chick on the interwebs. It’s not hard, really, if you know how to throw together a few search strings. Or, if someone you know posts on twitter about their involvement in their wedding. Convienent. I went to this darling bride’s blog and read all about her details, and then I prompltly breathed a sigh of relief: she had chosen another venue for her reception.

My relief was short lived, however.  Once my initial paranoia passed, I started to think about the hundreds of brides getting hitched on my date. Don’t bother commenting on the irony of how it’s not really my date because i’m not engaged yet, I know, ok. I’m crazy. We already established that. Let’s just accept it and move on. And in moving on, can you share just a little in my paranoid concerns for just a moment? I know it’s hard, but I was having a difficult time. I was imagining all the scenarios that involved me having to have my reception in a totally undesirable location. All at once, I started to see the terrible possibilties– like a meat processing plant, or an abandoned, spooky hospital. Or one of those rooms where the people are torchered in SAW movies. I have an overractive imagination, but alas– I was concerned!

Possible creepy warehouses:

So, I did what any self respecting psuedo renegade bride would: I emailed the venue and inqured about my date. No one had booked it, so I went ahead and put a hold on the space. Now, if I don’t get engaged or married, I’ll be a laughingstock, sure, but I can at least throw a really nice pity party on June 11, 2011 with all my closest friends and family, because I’m doing this thing. Moving full steam ahead. If I had one of those little checklists, then i’d have RECEPTION VENUE checked off. And let me tell you something– the permagrin isn’t going anywhere.

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