Our Photog blogged our wedding today (including the first attempt at the pool jump) so you should go on over and check it out: http://hassasphotography.blogspot.com/2011/12/hawaii-wedding-photographer-hillary-and.html
I can finally commence with the recaps, now that our wedding was on Style Me Pretty today! Please check it out http://www.stylemepretty.com/destination-weddings/2011/12/07/kona-wedding-by-hassas-photography-brocade-designs/ MORE, MORE, MORE from me soon. I’ve been holding back and holding my breath for this very post!!
Ya’ll. Ok! First of all, I’m ALIVE. yes. I know. I’ve not blogged and I’m a bad, bad girl. But I have excuses. I was really busy (wedding season and all) but this next week I promise to make it up to you. Big time. First off, I have a really revealing tell all type post where I talk about how Birth Control made me a monster like creature, and that I had to quit taking it. I also have WEDDING PICTURES. Yes. Much like porn, wedding pictures. We got them earlier than planned (score) and I’ve submitted them to an editorial blog I’m waiting to hear back from, but I think it’s safe to post just like, one, right? One tiny one.
So one picture and then a promise: I’m back next week. and it’s sooo on!
The hardest thing about getting up at 6:15 in the morning and immediately beginning to work is that by 4 pm, you have worked for 10 hours and you are so tired you just want to lie on the floor a little, just a little, and sleep for a few minutes, but you know if you do that then you will not be able to get (fill in the blank) done and then what will happen? The world will blow up.
In 2012, I am setting groundrules. Rules like not taking on 40+ weddings a year (dear God, help me right now when we are looking at 10 huge events in the next three weeks), not overextending myself, not answering the phone or email past 6 instead of my 8 pm rule now. I am going to revise the fact that I have to steal time away from my work calendar in order to have a small social life, and that the hours spent work free (ha-ha) are really the 45 minutes before I fall asleep at night, and then I have nightmares about the to do lists, and the things left undone, or the proposals yet to be finished, or the emails i’ve not answered…
I could say that I’d be happier if I had an assistant, but that wouldn’t work. I’d be happier if I had a clone. I’d definitely be more productive, and I’d probably whine less. But I have a hard time allocating (based on a secret belief that no one is going to do the job the way I want it to be done). I have a hard time letting someone else take over and be happy with the end result. For me, that means working for 12 hours a day on the days we don’t have weddings and working even more than that on the weekend, of being perpetually exhausted, and wondering, absently, if I’m this tired at 32 what will it be like when I’m 40? 50?
Back to the 2012 groundrules. I have lots of plans. I am hoping these plans can actually happen this year. I am pretty sure that some of my plans are going to really make people mad, or think I’ve broken my brain. But I’m really, really, really tired of being exhausted. I’m tired of people not understanding why I can’t go to their 8 o’clock dinner party (because if I did, at 10, I’d be asleep in my soup because I have to go to bed at 10 during the week to just survive the weekends). I’m tired of feeling selfish when I get a pedicure because it forces me to relax, and yet I still make it a point to answer each.and every. email that comes in while sitting in that chair. I confess to being a workaholic, because if you don’t work it won’t get done, and if it doesn’t get done then your business fails.
This is such a rant, I know, but the past weeks have really been trying. It’s a crazy time, a time I love, but right now I’m feeling the burn on several levels. I know it will pass, I do, but I need to transcribe my feelings so that when 2012 rolls around and I’m feeling all optomistic and forgetting the 12+ hour day burn, I will read this and remember that I need ground rules. I need boundaries. I need to let go, a little, of trying to be perfect and trying to make everyone happy. Because ultimately, I end up feeling really tired, really fragile, and like I do right now– like I’ll pop if I don’t write all these feelings out.
As I hesitate to publish this (as though not to sound whiny and complainy about doing a job I love to death), I figure it’s a good thing. It’s like internet therapy: putting these ideas out into the universe so positive things can come back in. I don’t want you to think, dear reader, that I for any reason am complaining about being busy– I am blessed and thankful to be busy. I just need to learn how to better manage my busy-ness so that it doesn’t take such a chunk out of my soul. I am sure I’ll figure that out, right?
So, I totally failed at Labor Day Challenge. Go ahead and judge me, but I only somehow managed to accomplish the sketch of the garden (check out the brocadenashville.com post on bulbs and whatnot if you are so into learning about that kinda stuff) and make dinner for the hubs and mother in law. Our gutters were full of sludge like stuff that Don said was leaves (it looked like something primordal) and we had to clean them before it “came a monsoon” as they say here in the south. And I was tired on Sunday after the wedding Saturday and all I wanted to do was soak in the bubblebath and read Jane Austen’s Mansfield Park as the night before I’d finished watching Lost in Austen on the Ovation Channel (Tivo’ed) and I was remembering how AWESOME Jane Austen was, and I never read Mansfield Park so I wanted to do that, and thusly, I accomplished less than nill. I did, however accomplish drinking some wine (whee) and meeting some cool people and having a nice time with the mother in law, and then went to some neighborly friends for Labor Day eve and ate steak with Chimichuri (so good) and had Bourbon Slush Punch, so that was pretty great. All in all, a pretty fairly decent first Labor Day as Married People.
I guess that would really come down to describe my total and utter selfishness, but no– wait, there’s more. I have a lot of work to do (read: I am way behind on EVERYTHING that I am supposed to be doing for work, life ,etc– the Labor Day list being but one sad example of my overextended calendar, and I really, really, really need a robot assistant to help me do things. But add to it that there’s new stress that I have to find a new location to operate my business out of in the next six months and there’s no free time to like, sleep really, and I want to whine about that, a lot, because I am a whiny-type person that really gets a kick of out complaints. Just now, to break my tedious whining I Googled “Robot Assistant” and found the following picture:
But in my need to do all this other stuff, I just increasingly WANT To do one thing: get a pedicure. I think that pedicures are my Achilles Heel. I honestly would get 3 pedicures a week if I could somehow manage it financially and time-wisely. I would go and sit in that magical, magical chair and have them take care of my poor, abused, sad feet. Right now, it’s been over a MONTH since my last one, and my toes resesmble something like I’d imagine an Ogre’s toes to look like. It’s pretty gross. But after a pedicure…well, they will look like new, happy toes that are full of grace. Like the below image, though I’m pretty sure I’ll imagine the rose petals.
My husband does not comprehend or appreciate my love for the pedi action. I dragged him along once and I don’t think he had nearly a good time, because he got a guy doing his (in my opinion the guys are best at the pedicures– they really get in there, and they are precise about the polishing, but I digress) and he said a bunch of “I don’t want a dude rubbing on my feets” which I told him was kind of homophobic, and he said it had nothing to do with that, he just didn’t like dudes rubbing on him. Personally, I don’t care if it’s a pedicure-giving zombie rubbing on me, I have a pretty lax attitude about who can massage my feet (read: anyone with fingers).
So, in selfishness, I am going to plan a pedicure date soon to make my toes (and self) happy. It’s a small thing, right? I mean, come on…we’re all entitled to a little foot rubbing love. Even if we don’t truly deserve it since we didn’t finish our to-do list, but whatev….
Tags: pedicures rock
Because I am the kind of person that needs to be accountable and whatnot, here’s my “Labor Day Challenge” weekend post to myself. With you, dear readers, as audience and people who can make me feel bad when I do not perform adequately. CHECK IT!
We have a wedding this weekend– it’s really cool, and I’m excited about it, at Belle Meade Plantation in Nashville. That means today + tomorrow are lost causes, but Sunday + Monday are ripe with possibility. Here’s the plans:
1. Finalize front garden sketch for bulb planting plans + order bulbs <– Expect a detailed cross post on this and my Brocade blog next week, all about bulb-ing
2. Prime + Paint the Dining Room
3. Take pictures of the bathroom + dining room and post on the blog
4. Sand + refinish the buffet. Or at least sand it. Progress is important
5. Find the rest of my plates for the plate wall
6. Make a labor day bbq dinner for husband + mother in law <– if you can move arms
Things that almost made the list…
7. Learn how to use the sewing machine and make something with it (it’s still in it’s box. But I now have a sewing table, so that’s progress!!!)
8. Build the headboard for the bedroom (overly ambitious)
9. Finish tiling the kitchen (cries)
10. Do something in the kitchen worthwhile (double cry)
The only thing I wish was on the list but is not is NAP…so let the challenge BEGIN! What do you plan to accomplish this Labor Day Weekend?