June 22, 2011 I’m married! What the…
It’s true. I’m wed. And my wedding day– perfection, people, total freaking perfection. I’d daresay it was the best wedding ever, but then I’d sound all pretentious and full of myself, but seriously, with the risk of sounding vain and self-absorbed, it was THE BEST WEDDING EVER!
We had an amazing time in Hawaii. I have a few important tips I’d like to share before going through a full on series of posts about, well, everything, including tips for Hawaii on your honeymoon (I have lots!) but here’s a few key things I learned in the days leading up to my wedding that I feel are little pearls of important wisdom I must immediately share:
1. If you are flying more than 5 hours, go first class. Trust me on this, people. In standard cargo hold loser lower class, they cram you in tiny ass seats you cannot manage to deal with after about 3.5 hours (you feel like crying or scratching your eyes out or finding a cigarette to light in the lavatory so they will land early and you can GET OFF THE DAMN PLANE) and they don’t feed you anymore. Not even comped peanuts. On our flight out they were kind enough to sell 10 dollar sandwiches, but on the return flight they were like screw you bitches, we’re gonna play you an in flight viewing of Rango and let you starve to death, after you go crazy and claw out your eyes. I even developed some random ankle problem from sitting wedged in the middle on a tinyflight ™ from paradise and now I can’t walk properly. I blame the plane. Sure, it could be other things (the interwebs tell me it’s “Marsal Tunnel Syndrome” or something, but I blame that tiny plane where I starved and went crazy watching RANGO.)
2. If you can manage to rob a bank before your honeymoon, I can’t recommend enough to STAY AT THE FOUR SEASONS. Our wedding was at the Four Seasons, and we had nearly five blissful days there in paradise in the nicest hotel ever. It was amazing. It was life changing. I am naming our first child “Four Seasons Yeager” I love the Four Seasons and I can’t tell you enough that if you spring for this luxury, you will be writing me a thank you note. To put it in perspective, our Honeymoon on Kauai was a Four-Seasonsless land and we stayed at the Marriott and it sucked it hardcore. More on that later.
3. If you are at the stage of your planning where you want to go run screaming and eloping is a viable option, then I’m gonna make a really big, bold recommendation: do it. I have been a part of over 150 weddings in some way or another, as a vendor or guest, and I’ll tell you what, in my opinion, destination weddings rule. It’s so chill, so laid back, so relaxed and comfortable. I spent the morning of my wedding relaxing by the beach, leisurely sipping coffee and not doing a damn.thing. When I got my hair done, it was totally zenlike, peaceful paradise of sweet solitude. And I spent my entire wedding ceremony wrapped up in the total feeling of pure, amazing bliss with absolutely NO STRESS. So if you want a no-stress awesome day, then consider running off and leaving that big wedding behind. It’s not for everyone, but if you feel miserable planning a big shindig and you want to go somewhere sweet and totally you guys, like we did, it is so worth it. Listen to your hearts.
Ok, so that’s a little quick note to let you know A) I’m married! B) I’m going to post more, and C) I should be packing right now since we are moving, but whatever. Whatever… More from me soon, darlings! I wish people we knew would facebook some pictures or something (hint, hint to those we know reading this. Jessica. Ahem.)