March 2, 2010 I talk too much (seriously)
When I was in grade school, I wrote a little blurb for my school literary magazine. I drew a picture to accompany this little blurb, which was a curly headed me (I did not have curly hair, but I really wanted a spiral perm. It was “hot” in grade school to get spiral perms, and the most popular girl in school– Crystal Chair– who I despised and called “Glass Seat” behind her back, had one and she was beloved by all the boys and envied by all the girls. She was kind of a bitch to me, thus the moniker Glass Seat, but you get the picture). In my curly hair, I had a big floppy 80s bow that would have been pink if the drawing was in color. My little paragraph said something to the effect of “I get in trouble because I talk too much! I say whatever I think and sometimes hurt people’s feelings, but I don’t mean to. ”
This little paragraph is still so true. I am a very opinionated person. Sometimes I type things out on this blog (and publish things) that I later (within minutes) go back and delete. I don’t want to come across as being mean, because I’m inherently not a mean person. I’m just kind of spontaneous in my commentary. I also like how a blog makes you feel all safe and anonymous and like you can say anything. That, I have learned, is not really the case.
I am all about free expression and saying what’s on your mind, but sometimes I think I can go too far. Often, I think I’m just being sarcastic or joking, but then I lie awake at night wondering if I hurt so and so’s feelings, or if the snarky comment that was intended for a good laugh was really a big insult. It seems silly to worry about this– I’m an adult and while I should be responsible for my own words and actions, I ought to also have the self assurance and self confidence to know that sometimes it’s cool to speak your mind. Besides, as someone wise once said- if the people around you don’t like it that you spontaneously say whatever comes to your mind, they don’t have to be your friend.
When it comes to this wedding thing, I’m pretty darned opinionated about what I want and don’t want, and I don’t think I’m going to be easily swayed. I also don’t think I’m going to have a hard time voicing it when I disagree with someone’s style or ideas if they don’t mesh with my vision, and I might have a few “hell no” moments. Brides to be and wedded wives– how did you navigate the terms of talking and speaking your mind in the planning process?